Fresh Fudge Appeal

Dear all. It’s time to get back in the kitchen and help our local “builders” Anthony “Tony” Worrall-Thompson and Heston Blumenthal’s to finish the first phase of “Fudgeworth” (the model village of Beckworth made entirely of fudge). Phase one of the project is near to completion, the sewage works, council estate and drive through McDonalds look very realistic but the father and son team still need another 500,000 fudge bricks to finish building a scale model of the nuclear power plant. So ladies and gents and children of Beckworth let’s get making more fudge. An imploring Tony told me over a shandy in the hotel bar “That if each of Beckworth’s 5000+ residents to made at least five kilograms of fudge per day for a week they could get the eastern end of the scale  village finished in time for Christmas… Or New Year” So please help Tony and his son Heston, as they can’t do this job without your help. And remember we are an equal opportunities hotel with wheelchair access so there’s no excuse for lazy people on benefits not dropping off fudge. Thanks, Sandy Luton, General Manager, Hill View Hotel

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(Above) A fudge brick as wanted by Tony and son Heston

BBC To Auction Off Lost Property

Good afternoon. I am very pleased to announce that your local 346 year old auction house, Northerbys, has been instructed by the BBC to hold a sale of it’s “lost” property. The sale will be held on Tuesday 13th May from 10 am and we are pleasured to have guest auctioneer Fiona Bruce clutching the gavel. The “lost” property includes some rare antique items and original artworks “accidentally left behind” after filming popular BBC programmes such as The Antiques Road Show, Cash In The Attic, Homes Under The Hammer and Crime Watch. One picture, an original 17th century painting “Blokes In Boats” by Giovanni Cannelloni, is expected to fetch at least £500,000. All proceeds from the sale will go towards to the BBC Christmas Party fund. I hope to see you all on the 13th. Tim Wonnacott. Head Auctioneer. Northerbys Auction House

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 (Above) Fiona Bruce guards the painting ”Blokes In Boats” by Giovanni Cannelloni expected to boost party fund coffers by a cool £500,000