Back to today, Ava hopes to be well enough later to salute the assembled crowds, and enpower her followers, from an open care-home window at around 2pm.

Also, pleased be warned; due to the lateness of the postponement tanks will be parked up on the playing fields for the next seven days. But don’t be alarmed as they are only carrying “blank” ammunition in readiness of having a 101 gun salute in Miss Berlins homour. Thanks. G. Grimsby. Mayor

Ava is the World’s last surviving WW2 female pilot, winner of an Iron Cross and was for years a teacher of Chemistry and German at the high school. I’m not alone in fondly remembering how she made school more enjoyable by teaching us how to make pipe-bombs and salute the fuhrer. After bad weather and public disobedience marred Ava’s last birthday parade we thought it fitting, as she’s lasted another 12 months, to have another go. But this time, for the public’s safety, she will be mounted on the back of a truck and supporters of the far-right are banned. Although it was undoubtedly spectacular that she did a very realistic Lady Godiva impersonation galloping on horseback through Beckworth, the police say this year they can’t spare the troops to keep order.
So come and see Miss Berlin recreating the last hours of Joan Of Arc on a lorry from 2pm, weather and kindling permitting. She will also be stopping at the public toilets on route to cut her birthday cake and “rest,” should anyone wish to take close-up photos. Thanks. G. Grimsby. Mayor