Great question Mr Venger, but first may I suggest to you that you avoid sitting under a tree during a storm as it’s very dangerous (but that’s a story for another day). Also pears having nothing to do with the story of gravity… but amazingly another fruit does.
To find out when gravity was invented I had to do a lot of research and found myself in Beckworth library reading about the middle ages (i’m not sure what they were in the middle of yet, but with my inteligence i’m bound to find out).

I discovered a dusty old book called an Encyclopedia which explained that gravity hadn’t always existed and was invented some time between 1200AD and the out-break of World War One (some chapters were missing from the book so an exact date is beyond me). I did find out that it’s inventor was a Mr Sir Ian Newton. He was a scientist like me, but as he hasn’t played in a 1980s pop band as I have, you may not have heard of him. Anyway, one autumn day after hard day being scientific Mr Newton was resting under a tree when an apple (probably a Cox) fell on his head. Being very clever like me he got to thinking about apples and trees and stuff. He spent years (and lots of juicy apples) experimenting and soon had invented gravity. Although we now take it pretty much for granted it wasn’t until years after Newton’s death that gravity was accepted as existing. So poor old Mr Sir Ian never knew how his invention would enrich human lives, and make us very wary of resting in orchards. I hope that answers your question Arse.

With his fact complete I’m rushing off to meet my close friends Spandau Ballet in the Sainsco Cafe. Thanks, Prof Brian Cox.

(Above) Dr Cox tries to get to grips with an apple whilst explaining gravity earlier today

(Above) The shard offers amazing views for naturists