With 173 fish competing the race was watched by probably over two thousand people crowding the river banks and bridges, someone even sent up a drone. But as the town has a no fly policy the army cadets promptly shot it down and got a round of applause for its efforts. Though I say promptly it did take hundreds of shots before they hit it. They need more practice I think. Still it’s the thought that counts I am supposing.

The race was a nail biting from start to finish, as it was cold I waited in the cafe to see who crossed the finish line first, and I’m told many fish battled it out. Some were even disqualified for cheating and argy-bargy. In the end it was one of our oldest contestants, a 42 year old goldfish named Monkey Boy, that took the chequered flag in an almost record time of 1 hour 29 minutes and 14 seconds… This was the fish’s thirteenth race, he has trained hard year on year by owner and trainer Lorraine Kelly who says she would have had him put down and stuffed if he hadn’t won after so many races without a podium finish. This obviously spurred the fish on, so well done all. I am already looking forward to next years race. Thanking you most warmly. Aashif Ackworth. Mayor. Beckworth Town Council