Life in Beckworth » Nick Hewer

Apprenticeship Goes Up In Smoke

a resident of Beckworth — Thu, 23 Oct 2014 10:44:14 +0000

Dear all. Well, what a travesty of justice last night’s episode of The Apprentice was. I’m sure you’ll agree that Lord Sugar made a big mistake firing my cousin, the Kajagoogoo tribute act, Jack-A-GooGoo. Jack and Mr Sugar had been getting on famously until a few days ago and was believed to be a shoe-in as 2014 winner. But my cousin was appalled at this weeks’ task, having to make and sell poncey candles, and so borrowing Sugar’s credit card he buggered off to buy a pub in Bognor Regis. Jack only spent £250,000, which he quite rightly says was just an advance on his winnings, but Alan wasn’t happy (he doesn’t like Bognor) and so fired his top apprentice. What a silly bugger!! Still it’s not all bad as Jack is being allowed to keep the pub, which he and Nick Hewer hope to turn into a Kajagoogoo themed bar before Christmas.

Thanks Nelly Ryde (Jack’s manager, pub barmaid and shelf-stacker in 99p Land)

(Above) Jacks new family-friendly pub in Bognor Regis

Apprentice: Missing In Action

a resident of Beckworth — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 09:18:54 +0000

Dear all. If like me you were wondering where my cousin Jack-A-GooGoo was in last night’s episode of The Apprentice, fear not. Jack had spent so much time “getting to know” the other apprentices after the first task that on the day of the second one he was sleeping off a hangover and missed the whole thing. Jack has smoothed things over his new BFF’s Nick Hewer and Lord Sugar and hopes to back on our screens next week, that’s if he doesn’t over do the partying!!

Thanks Nelly Ryde (Jack’s manager, business partner and shelf-stacker in 99p Land)

(Above, far left) Jack manages to find time between sessions in the pub to get photographed with his fellow Apprentices

Apprentice In The Pub

a resident of Beckworth — Wed, 15 Oct 2014 10:06:43 +0000

Dear all. I hope you all caught the first episode of The Apprentice last night which my cousin Jack-A-GooGoo was starring in it. Jack didn’t feature too much in the programme due to clever editting, and the fact that genius Jack spent most of the task (which would have involved him dressing as a hotdog) by staying in the pub with Nick Hewer and Lord Sugar. My cousin’s tactic is to keep a low profile, befriend the “judges” and therefore keep out of the boardroom. Jack sent me a sneaky text last night saying Mr Sugar is actually a top bloke in real life and bought Jack and Nick drinks and fags all day. He’s also quite small in real life and needed a step ladder to get onto his bar stall. Anyway, keep your eyes peeled for Jack next week, though if there’s hard work involved you’ll no doubt find him back in the pub with Nick and Alan!

Thanks Nelly Ryde (Jack’s manager, business partner and shelf-stacker in 99p Land)

(Above) Sir Sugar orders another round of drinks earlier today for his BFF’s Jack and Nick