Life in Beckworth » will young

Professor Cox’s Did You Know This: Why Do We Still Have The Longest Day?

a resident of Beckworth — Fri, 21 Jun 2019 12:54:37 +0000

Hello all, Brian here, I actually answered this in full 6 or 7 years ago on this very website… So apologies if I ask you to a search for it whist I use my immense knowledge of the universe to make more television programmes whilst showing off my beautiful hair and getting more female fans…

Suffice to say that the universe is in perfect balance, so for every shortest day there must be a longest day… usually about 6 months apart due to the cycle of the sun. Or the moon. The longest day is most memorable in the UK because here it means almost 24 hours of sunshine in one day… unless its raining or is cloudy. Which means a lot of people will today go to the beach to get a tan or to ancient stone circles to dance naked.

Anyway, that’s me done, so if you don’t mind I’m going to get on my unicycle to a posh restaurant to have a “£5 eat as much as you can” lunch with my old school chums Will and Kirtsy Young to reminisce about teachers we fancied (and who of course fancied me) and blowing up the science lab. Thanks, Prof Brian Cox.

Local Museums Announce Plans To Merge

a resident of Beckworth — Tue, 07 Jul 2015 10:14:54 +0000

News just in… Beckworth’s world famous Museum of Cheese has announced plans to merge with a neighbouring museum in a drive to save money and increase visitor numbers. Spokesperson and curator for the MoC, part-time popstar Will Young, was quoted as saying “with every museum chasing funding, more and more exhibitors will have to join together to survive…” he went onto add “we tried to merge with The Paris Musée du Onions but they said we were too far away and they hated the English. So we are very lucky to have joined forces with a museum just a few miles away, and who’s remit compliments ours perfectly.” We were still in the dark until he announced they would merge with the little known Slocombe Chalk Museum. The new combined “supermuseum” will focus on the history of cheeses and chalks and even boast a souvenir shop and cafe. It will likely be sited in Crewbury, probably in the old public toilets as the rent is cheap. They hope to open in just a few days once the urinals have been cleaned. I’ll keep you posted about when the grand opening is. Christine Batley. Chief Carbonated Limestone & Coagulated Milk Product Reporter. Beckworth Guardian

(Above) Will Young announcing plans for the Museum of Cheese earlier today

Open Auditions: Vernon Kay’s All Star Family Fortunes – The Musical

a resident of Beckworth — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 17:45:32 +0000

The Beckworth Players will be holding open auditions for their next musical production, All-Star Family Fortunes, this Thursday evening at 7.30 in their rehearsal space (above Chiswicks The Fishmongers). Open to everyone, first-time director (and local celeb) Ross Kemp says he wants to find the next Will Young and Fern Cotton for this all singing, all dancing musical spectacular, which has been written for us by local celeb Vernon Kay! Are you a Will or Fern (you can actually have any name, he’s just giving them as an example of talented local people and could have easily asked for a local Justin Beiber and Lindsay Lohan). Please come along and show us what you’re made of. You must be 18 or over and have large lungs. Given the success of our last musical, Salvadore Dali, we expect to be swamped, so come early. See you Thursday, Chico (producer)