Life in Beckworth » wills and kate

Baby King To Be Named The Boy George

a resident of Beckworth — Thu, 25 Jul 2013 08:48:42 +0000

Hello all. I’m pumped up with excitment (just like a big helium balloon filled with joy) and all because I’m able to share with you the breaking news from yesterday that our new baby King is to be named George. As predicted he has been named after his parents favourite entertainer, though no one realised the esteemed “My Sweet Lord” guitarist was even in the running. A Royal sauce close to the young Royal couple was overheard on a bus saying “William and Kate have recently been playing a lot of Prince Philips old records and become big fans of The Rolling Stones and The Beatles” she went on to say “Up until the Queen arrived yesterday the name Mick was a firm favourite. But in a twist of fate HM Queen Elizabeth II was humming “Love Me Do” when she first met her new Great-Grandson and so The Beatles were chosen to be the namesakes.” So from now on the baby King of Kings will be named Prince George Paul John Ringo of Cambridge, though to save energy in public and to reflect his humble roots he will simply be referred to as the Boy George. I’m sure you will agree that the Royals have chosen beautiful names for their son and I’m predicting that Sir Paul McCartney and Sir Ringo Starr will be Godfathers though, I hear David Walliams is also in the “frame.” The Royal couple are now taking a well-earned break with the baby Prince at Kate’s parent’s holiday “villa” at a caravan park in Bangor. Anyway, I will let you know more about the baby as it comes. Christine Batley. Chief Royal Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian

(Above) The Beatles in their heyday when they were alive

It’s Kings Cross Sale Day Today

a resident of Beckworth — Tue, 23 Jul 2013 08:53:16 +0000

It’s royal baby celebration day today down at 99p Land and we’re wetting the baby’s head by having a “Kings Cross” sale to celebrate. Pop-in to 99p Land to congratulate Sir Wills and Kate on the birth of the baby King by buying all your party stuff at 10% off. Yes, that’s a fabulous 10% off a few old sale items marked with a red cross (offer excludes nappies, baby-wipes, alcohol, cigarettes, biscuits, picnic blankets, condoms, cardigans and apples). We’re open 8 till 8 so there’s plenty of time to get those baby party essentials. Bim Gujranwala. Manager. 99p Land

(Above) A cake in the shape of a red cross to celebrate 99p Lands’ “Kings Cross” Day

Royal Choice On The Voice

a resident of Beckworth — Mon, 24 Jun 2013 15:56:30 +0000

Dear all, just to say that I have taken my Voice vote-rigging complaint to the watchdog, OffGen, and i’ll let you know how I get on. It looks very much as if all the votes were directed towards one singer, which would have been a fair landslide if it had been Tom Jones protoge, my cousin Jack-Agoogoo. I have had more than five emails of support and two people are joining me in not paying the licence fee. On a positive note the Palace has contacted me to say The Queen wants to book Jack to sing Kajagoogoo songs at the birth of Wills and Kate‘s first child (and they let slip the child will be called Neville, but I’m sworn to secrecy). So even Royalty recognises who should have won.

Yours Nelly Ryde. Manager Jack-AgooGoo

(Above) William and Kate of Wales overjoyed at the news that the Queen has booked Jack-Agoogoo to sing at the birth of their first child, Prince Neville