Gary Grimsby MBE
…And we missed the first games! Both our local football teams, the men’s Beckworth And Slocombe Academicals and the women’s Beckworth And Slocombe Laxadasicals, got the dates mixed up and thought their first matches were this coming Saturday and Sunday. Last weekend they were due to play at home in their first new season matches in the Co-Operative FuneralCare League and crowds duly assembled at the pitch. But the teams never showed. I hear they were spotted in a Beckworth pub enjoying some well-earned pre-season bonding… But not to worry, they would have been defeated anyway… the men’s team has for the last 14 seasons (they’ve got an impressive 100% match defeat record) and the women have a 96% defeat record. We’re still hopeful to put together a LGBT team this year, though we’re struggling to find players or think up a snappy team name. Good luck to all players this season. G. Grimsby. Linesman and now coach.
(Above) An artist’s impression of our football teams getting in some practice