Life in Beckworth » China http://visitbeckworth.co.uk/life-in-beckworth Bringing you the (almost) everyday comings and goings of the residents of Beckworth, a typical English market town. Informing you about their lives through the mediums of words, images, an interactive map and stereophonic sound recordings Sun, 01 Feb 2026 00:56:14 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 Why Are The Clocks Changing Again Prof Cox? http://visitbeckworth.co.uk/life-in-beckworth/prof-brian-cox/why-do-the-clocks-change-prof-cox/ http://visitbeckworth.co.uk/life-in-beckworth/prof-brian-cox/why-do-the-clocks-change-prof-cox/#comments Thu, 22 Oct 2015 07:48:28 +0000 a resident of Beckworth http://visitbeckworth.co.uk/life-in-beckworth/?p=5748 Continue reading →]]> Hello all, Prof Brian Cox here. Once again, and I do mean again, I am using my brain that that’s the size of a planet to answer your repeatedly tedious questions. I’m a patient, yet extremely busy, celebrity doctor with gorgeous hair aiming to improve your humdrum lives, but please stop trying to elicit the same b****y information from me. At this time of year I can be certain that some k**b will ask me why do leaves go brown, is it time to put the central heating on or why do the clocks change? I got asked the latter just yesterday by one of my foreign celebrity fans, Xi Jinping, the King of China who I met at a boring function in London. On being introduced to me he failed to bow or even mention how great my hair looked, which put me in a bad mood. Then, to add insult to injury, he got me to sign an Ultravox 12″ single. Even though I’d said I was in Tears For Fears. Anyway, I told him in no uncertain terms, as i’m telling you, please make the effort to read my fact filled blog entry (on this site) about the b****y clocks changing, as I only wrote it two years ago. It’s all there and i’m in no mood to repeat myself. ‘Nuff said. The king looked a bit crest-fallen when I had to rush off and leave him, but I had an important engagement to play croquet with my new best friends The Duke & Duchess of Cambridge and David Cameron. No doubt i’ll be back answering your insipid queries soon, so keep the faith. Ta ta, Prof Brian Cox.

Beckworth_Xi and Cox

(Above) The King of China tries to tell a disgruntled Dr Cox a funny story about a large fish he’d once caught

]]> http://visitbeckworth.co.uk/life-in-beckworth/prof-brian-cox/why-do-the-clocks-change-prof-cox/feed/ 0 Planners Say An Emphatic Yes! Yes! To New Factory http://visitbeckworth.co.uk/life-in-beckworth/valerie-portslade/planners-say-yes-yes-to-new-factory/ http://visitbeckworth.co.uk/life-in-beckworth/valerie-portslade/planners-say-yes-yes-to-new-factory/#comments Wed, 10 Jun 2015 09:44:06 +0000 a resident of Beckworth http://visitbeckworth.co.uk/life-in-beckworth/?p=5128 Continue reading →]]> Good morning to you all. The Beckworth trade guild are delighted to announce that planners have approved the demolition of the 12th century Slocombe Priory to make way for a new factory, creating dozens of jobs locally for the expected influx of foreign workers. The new manufacturing site will be built and operated by Paxmans to build their popular “personal hygene” products, in particular their best selling “Vag-O-Vac” and must have “3-speed vibrating “hair” trimmer with genital massager” the Yes! Yes!. A spokesperson for the company said that tax breaks and bribes had incentified the move from China and they were gagging to get started as the UK market for “sexual hygene” was potentially huge. We at the guild are thrilled that Beckworth and it’s environs are at the forefront of a new “adult-orientated” industrial revolution, all thank’s to enlightened Tory policies. Yours sincerely, Valerie Saddleworth CBE. Chairlady. The Beckworth Guild of Trade & Commerce

Beckworth_Yes! Yes!

(Above) The world famous Yes! Yes! as advertised on daytime TV and in downmarket newspapers is soon to be made near Beckworth

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