Spot The Tosser In Town Today

a resident of Beckworth — Tue, 09 Feb 2016 13:37:45 +0000

Happy Shrove Tuesday to one and all… Let us not forget that today is pancake day and to celebrate the wholesome vegetarian occasion (and publicise our shop) my son Neville will be dressing in disguise and wandering the town flipping fresh crepes. And anyone who spots him will get a really splendid organic prize. A free pancake! Yes, just spot Pinner Jnr tossing his way through the streets and you’ll earn yourself a healthy free meal! So get searching, he won’t be easy to find…. Yours Clifford Pinner, owner of The Beckworth Eco-Emporium

(Above) The hard to spot Beckworth Tosser on the streets earlier today

Veg Man Get’s Let Off Growing Phallic Veg

a resident of Beckworth — Sat, 27 Sep 2014 10:05:18 +0000

Breaking national news. Local amateur horticulturalist, Clifford Pinner, has been cleared of all charges made against him in this landmark indecency trial. Mr Pinner was arrested earlier this year when he was found to be growing “rude” fruit and vegetables on his allotment. After a tip off from a concerned neighbour armed Police searched Mr Pinner’s plot and confiscated various offensive growths, including large penis shaped marrows, breast like melons, a potato which looked like a bottom and small tomatoes that could have been mistaken for testicles according to Police testimony. After a case lasting almost two months, and costing almost £2 million, Mr Pinner was relieved to be let off with just a caution. He now hopes to get back to growing his au naturel shaped organic fruits and vegetables without fear of prosecution. Well done to Mr Pinner, and good luck to local Police who hope to appeal the case. Christine Batley. Chief Naughty Foodstuff Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian

(Above) One of the defendant’s allegedly “rude” vegetables on which the case hinged

Life in Beckworth » Clifford Pinner

Spot The Tosser In Town Today

Veg Man Get’s Let Off Growing Phallic Veg