Veg Man Get’s Let Off Growing Phallic Veg

Breaking national news. Local amateur horticulturalist, Clifford Pinner, has been cleared of all charges made against him in this landmark indecency trial. Mr Pinner was arrested earlier this year when he was found to be growing “rude” fruit and vegetables on his allotment. After a tip off from a concerned neighbour armed Police searched Mr Pinner’s plot and confiscated various offensive growths, including large penis shaped marrows, breast like melons, a potato which looked like a bottom and small tomatoes that could have been mistaken for testicles according to Police testimony. After a case lasting almost two months, and costing almost £2 million, Mr Pinner was relieved to be let off with just a caution. He now hopes to get back to growing his au naturel shaped organic fruits and vegetables without fear of prosecution. Well done to Mr Pinner, and good luck to local Police who hope to appeal the case. Christine Batley. Chief Naughty Foodstuff Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian

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(Above) One of the defendant’s allegedly “rude” vegetables on which the case hinged

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