Life in Beckworth » Masterchef

Cockney Tribute Act Performing Tonight

a resident of Beckworth — Fri, 03 Jul 2015 10:55:40 +0000

Great news for all the fans of jellied-eels, cockney music and out of tune pianos, as the UK’s eighth best Chas & Dave tribute act will be performing in Beckworth tonight. The act, aptly named Ches & David, will be performing the real duo’s two hits but promise to liven things up with a few surprises including some mime, juggling and lots of anecdotes about appearing on Masterchef and being extremely famous. In an email David Mitchell, the act’s “joanna player” (pianist), told me that he and his East End singing partner Ches (Chesney Hawkes) have been rehearsing for a couple of hours and are very excited to be performing, especially as the pub is paying them in crisps and lemonade. It’s only £9.50 on the door and this weekend’s featured ale at the pub is Where Is Sue Perkins When You Need Her. Warning: If you don’t like D-List celebrities singing in poorly “put-on” East London accents and going all “Mary Poppins” then please stay at home! Cindy Carmarthen, Bar Manager, The Blind Badger Pub & Venue

(Above) Musical mockneys Chesney & David rehearsing their moves earlier today

Local Lads and Lass Win Big At Marathon & Masterchef

a resident of Beckworth — Sun, 26 Apr 2015 16:03:59 +0000

It was a win, win, win situation for Beckworth residents today when local lads came first and second in the pro men’s race at the 2015 London Marathon and a local lass won the pro women’s wheelchair race. Eliud Kipchoge, Wilson Kipsang and Tatyana Mcfadden did the town proud and were all trained by local man and Olympic athlete Daley Thompson. The wins come hot on the heals of local lad Simon Wood winning Masterchef earlier this week. Congratulations to all, and in their honour we hope to have a combined Marathon & Masterchef parade next year (if we get the planning permission). G.Grimsby. Mayor

(Above) Local Masterchef winner Simon “Woody” Wood with his plastic trophy thing

Britain’s Got Talent Nut Discovered

a resident of Beckworth — Wed, 21 May 2014 09:54:37 +0000

Hello. News just in, keen nut collector and local violin teacher Nigel Kennedy has discovered his second nut lookalike in as many years. “Everyone remembers the brazil nut i discovered that looked like Che Guevara…” Nigel reminded me over an early morning white wine-spritza “It sent shock waves around the World when it sold at auction for close to £1 million pounds. But the one I found this week is bound to get even more media attention as it’s a more popular type of nut and looks like one of the Worlds’ most famous women.” He then showed me a photo of an almond and asked if I could guess who it looked like? But as i’d not brought my reading glasses I couldn’t tell. “It’s the spitting image of Amanda Holden! Britain’s Got Talents most favourite judge” he exclaimed whilst topping up my glass. When i looked again and squinted I could see that, despite my blurred vision, the likeness was indeed uncanny. “And” he added “It’s appropriate the likeness is on an almond. Because I hear Amanda loves them. They were her favourite ingredient when she won Masterchef. My almond…” he continued whilst lighting a cigarette “was discovered in a normal packet of mixed nuts.The rest of the nuts were nothing special, but this one, which i’ve christened Almonda Holden, caught my eye. It’s got to be worth a couple of million at least, given her status on TV” Nigel then told me that once again people are claiming it’s a fake, that he drew the face on with biro and that it’s just a money making stunt. But as he said whilst I was paying the large drinks bill “It’s all mother nature’s work. And as we know, she moves in mysterious ways!” So good luck to Nigel and Almonda, I’ll let you know how they get on at auction. Yours Christine Batley. Chief Nut Lookalike Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian

(Above) Spot The Difference: Almonda Holden and namesake Amanda Holden

Cook Like A Master Chef

a resident of Beckworth — Mon, 13 May 2013 12:21:30 +0000

Dear all. I’m sure you were all gripped by Masterchef, well now it’s your chance to learn how to do some of that fancy cooking here at The Hill View Hotel. Next week, for 3 days only, father and son chefs, Heston Blumenthal and Anthony Worrall-Thompson, will be teaching cooking to 10 lucky local cooks. Do you want to be a cook? If so it’s only £899 for the course and that will include a signed photo from the cooking duo. Hurry, places are limited and interest is bound to be big. We are an equal opportunities hotel with wheelchair access so literally anyone with their own chef’s hat and an apron can apply. Contact me, Sandy Luton, General Manager, for more details