Great news for all the fans of jellied-eels, cockney music and out of tune pianos, as the UK’s eighth best Chas & Dave tribute act will be performing in Beckworth tonight. The act, aptly named Ches & David, will be performing the real duo’s two hits but promise to liven things up with a few surprises including some mime, juggling and lots of anecdotes about appearing on Masterchef and being extremely famous. In an email David Mitchell, the act’s “joanna player” (pianist), told me that he and his East End singing partner Ches (Chesney Hawkes) have been rehearsing for a couple of hours and are very excited to be performing, especially as the pub is paying them in crisps and lemonade. It’s only £9.50 on the door and this weekend’s featured ale at the pub is Where Is Sue Perkins When You Need Her. Warning: If you don’t like D-List celebrities singing in poorly “put-on” East London accents and going all “Mary Poppins” then please stay at home! Cindy Carmarthen, Bar Manager, The Blind Badger Pub & Venue

(Above) Musical mockneys Chesney & David rehearsing their moves earlier today