Life in Beckworth » Miley Cyrus

Waxwork Museum Set To Open Later This Year

a resident of Beckworth — Sat, 26 Jul 2014 09:23:06 +0000

Great news for those of you already planning Christmas, unemployed taxidermist and amateur wax “sculptor” Neville Preston-Tussaud hopes to open Beckworth’s most exciting indoor tourist attraction by December. Taking inspiration from his Great Great Grandma, Mrs Madam Tussaud, Neville is to open a small waxworks museum in the garage next to his house and in his garden shed. He hopes to have at least 12 celebrity effigies on show and has already got Harry from One Direction and Prince William finished, with a half size Miley Cyrus currently in progress. As soon as I know more about the museum opening I will let you know. Thanks Natalie Clifton. Tourist Information.

(Above) Harry and William are bound to be star attractions when the waxworks opens

Christian Randy Is Back This Friday

a resident of Beckworth — Tue, 20 May 2014 16:31:03 +0000

Great news for all of you religious music fans as Randy, the country’s number one sexually-deviant wooden “friend of Jesus,” is back performing his hits at Beckworth’s number one real ale venue. This Friday night he’ll be on stage with his close relatives, amateur ventriloquists Uncle Len & Aunt Nancy Wheely, and the threesome will be getting our bank holiday started with a real Christian swing. The born-again hitmaker’s are promising to sing all of their “C of E” cover versions including Killing In The Name Of, Miley Cyrus‘s Wrecking Ball (featuring Aunt Nancy twerking) and Tom Jones’s Kiss, which will bring God into our hearts, or so their agent has told me. They will also be signing copies of their heavily discounted debut album Do You Know Jesus?, which reached number 502 in the Christian charts on it’s release last year. It’s only a £5.50 on the door and this weekend’s featured ale at the pub is Whitsun’s Wee. Warning: If you don’t like people singing about Our Lord, or dummys, then please stay at home! Cindy Carmarthen, Bar Manager, The Blind Badger Pub & Venue

Parrots Of The Caribbean – Open Auditions

a resident of Beckworth — Fri, 28 Feb 2014 17:15:40 +0000

Hello. We are starting auditions next week for our first dramatic performance of 2014 and are looking for new talent. This could be you! For five nights around Easter we will be putting on an original musical loosely based on the film Pirates Of The Caribbean. But in a twist of pure genius all the characters are birds of paradise not pirates, so it’s been imaginatively titled Parrots Of The Caribbean. Written down the pub by local girls made good Dame Maggie Smith and Sir Judie Dench, with a little help from Andrew Lloyd Webber‘s younger brother Neville, our performances will be a world first. I’ve seen the script in passing and given it’s novelty value it’s very likely to transfer to the West End or Broadway… or even Hollywood. So this could be your stab at stardom! First time director Gordon Brown will be auditioning hopefuls from 7pm daily but come early as auditions are bound to be very busy… And if you have your own feathered costume please wear it. The lead parts have already been taken by key members of The Beckworth Players, daytime TV heartthrob Philip Schofield will play Jack SparrowHawk, but we will still need cast members for inconsequential non-speaking parts, the odd dance routine and to sell ice-creams in the interval. Auditions will be held in our rehearsal space above Chiswicks The Fishmongers and are open to anyone. But to be honest we’re really looking for extremely beautiful people, so if you’re a bit of a minger don’t waste our time. Mr Gordon says he wants to find the next Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus or at least I think that’s what he said, but I was texting at the time. So please come along and show us your talent. You must be 18 or over and have your own tap shoes. See you Monday, Chico (producer)

(Above) Philip “Pip” Schofield excitedly tries on his new costume for the first time today