Firstly, to give you some context  I shall give you some background information about the dinosaurs. They roamed the earth about 5 or 6 thousand years ago. I say roamed as they didn’t live in houses nor were they kept in cages or fields like today’s animals. Farming and zoos hadn’t been invented yet. These lumbering giants were constantly on the move, apart from when they slept, looking for the next meal. Just like humans dinosaurs were all different, some were tall, scruffy and thin, some short, big boned & sexually inactive, others colourful & beautiful with great hair & teeth making them very attractive to the opposite and same sex, rather like me. Many ate meat, some ate fish and whilst others were strict vegans… But what they all had in common was a lack of wings. They simply couldn’t fly.

And it was this stupid inability to learn to fly, or even to invent aeroplanes, that made them extinct. How come Uncle Brian? I hear Neil and all the young people ask…

Let me take you back in time to dinosaur time. For hundreds of years every creature was very happy. There was low unemployment, plenty to eat and the world was warm and sunny most days. Even when it rained everyone was happy. Dinosaurs probably didn’t wash much and the rain was natures way of making them have a well deserved shower (sadly without soap). But one day the dinosaurs looked up to the sky, it was darkening and sun was becoming blotted out. They probably discussed amongst themselves what it could be? Clouds? An old satellite falling to earth, or perhaps the moon doing one of those eclipse things it did every now again just to annoy them. In the end the dinosaurs decided to run and hide. But the meteorite was so big there were no good places to hide… Not even caves or mud huts could shelter them. So sadly they all perished due to a large rock being fired at the Earth by aliens. In just one morning, afternoon, or early evening they were all wiped out. Dead.

Had they been able to fly (or had helicopters), they would have survived simply by flying out of harms’ way and sitting in trees… If they’d had that one skill, or a pilots licence, they would be around today. That is why we have birds today, they could fly out of the way and survive…And before you ask we still have fish and sharks because the meteorite missed the sea by a few miles. Lucky that, imagine a world without fish & chips or Jaws!

So there you go, another “Did You Know This” fact complete. I’m going to get off now, grab a quick forty winks, wash my hair and get onto my laptop to join Prince Charles and other clever celebs in creating a cure for Corona Virus  Keep well, Prof Brian Cox.

(Above) An artist’s impression of Prof Brian Cox, Sir Prince Charles and celebrity chums finding a cure for Corona Virus using the prof’s DNA

(Above) A visibly thrilled Benjamin Cumberbatch cuddles two of his Gran’s dolls

(Above) Prince Edward “rock’s out” during rehearsals in a pretend forest earlier today

(Above) Nature lover Prince Charles spotted in town today

Just a reminder that today, from 1pm, we will be recreating the Queen’s Coronation in St Faith’s church. Come and relive the sights and sounds of 80 years ago, we’ve got some acting “royalty” being real Royalty, Ross Kemp is playing Prince Philip, Susan Boyle is the young virgin Queen with Fern Cotton as Princess Anne and Gary Barlow as Prince Charles. They’ll be choristers singing carols, a miniature horse and carriage, and the vicar will be pretending to be the Pope, doing all the crowning and stuff. It’s a must see afternoon for the whole family and for those that can’t fit in the church we will be relaying the sounds very loudly over speakers in the graveyard. So come all ye faithful.

The Beckworth & Crewbury Historical Re-enactors