Hello. I’ve had an interesting couple of months whilst I was suspended from duties, I had a well earnt holiday in Ibiza and caught up on daytime telly. I occasionally attended court due to being the arresting officer (and unofficially the lead detective) in the obscene vegetable case. But now that’s finished i’m back out on the beat looking for clues in the Stag Do Massacre case. PC Rozzer has tried his hardest running the case single-handed (or pawed as he’s a dog) but he’s only unearthed bones so far. If you do find any clues CID would like to hear from you. Please ring 999 and ask for PC R Cowgrove at Beckworth Police station, but you may not catch me in as PC Rozzer and I are currently trying to get fit and have taken up jogging. But I’ll keep you posted on murder developments when I can. Yours, PC Cowgrove. Beckworth Police.

(Above) Me relaxing on holiday in Ibiza whilst suspended from the force on full pay