Your local (frozen goods and household essentials themed) amusement park Iceland Land is proud to announce the grand opening, tomorrow at 10.06am, of it’s latest star attraction. The Cillit Bang Rollercoaster Ride. To be unveiled by Mr Clit Bang himself, Barry Scott, the white-knuckle ride is reckoned to be even more knuckle-whitenening than the Mr Sheen Rollercoaster Ride and Mr Muscle Rollercoaster Ride it replaces, due to the fact it’s had a lick of paint and the wheels oiled. Thanks, Ms Kerry Katona MBE. Acting Assistant Manageress, Iceland Land

(Above) An excited Barry “Cillit Bang” Scott testing his roller-coaster ride earlier today