I trust you are all enjoying the wonderful lockdown Easter weather and despite keeping two feet apart are in fine fettle, taking in the vapours of spring through slightly opened windows and awaiting the partaking of chocolate comestibles…

As you will no doubt have marked clearly on your calendars Easter Monday is Beckworth School’s annual cycle race meeting of the institution’s alumni. But due to lockdown we can’t have the race at the 17th century velodrome so we are going to somehow race online. I’ll admit I have no idea what that means, my Grandson Victor (who’s typing this) says it involves computers, which I don’t possess. He also says all entrants will be filmed riding around the grounds of their stately piles and their times compared to find a winner… As I don’t own a film crew I will have to be absent from all racing, which will give other riders a sporting chance. But due to this inhumane lockdown the winner’s cups and medals will stay in my possession for another year. Or longer.

Yours Sir T.T. “Wonky” Windsor. President. Beckworth School Old Boys