Hello and happy April 1st. I’m pleased to announce a special Spring offer to residents today. As an incentive to get residents looking their best and have them save fuel, loose weight and exercise more we’re offering free toast and a haircut to anyone who travels by bus today rather than using their car or walking. The offer finishes at midday so hop on board and put a spring in your step. Yours sincerely Mrs April F. Ool. The Beckworth Guild of Trade & Commerce.

(Above) An artist’s impression of free toast on a bus (haircut not shown)