Ello fans, Dame Babs Windsor here. I bet you’ve been wondering how I looked so fabulous and young when I died on Eastenders recently… And how do I look so trim when advertising bingo? Well now I can share my secret with you; it’s my recently rediscovered Five To diet. “Was it invented by an ancient race of cockney Pearly Kings & Queens Dame Babs?” I hear you ask? Nah, it was taught to me in the 1960s by my old friend Hattie Jaques, who’d made it up one lunchtime whilst we filmed a Carry On film. But then I clean forgot all about it… But last year I found a scrap of paper in an old coat which had all the instructions scribbled on it. And now i’m ready to share it’s teachings as a gift to stop all my fans getting fat on the NHS. “Cor blimey that’s generous, but how’s it work Dame Babs” I hear you ask? Simply put, it’s all about bein’ strict about when you eat your grub… ’cause with my Five To diet it’s all about scoffing down your meat an’ two veg at five minutes to the hour… and only at five minutes to the hour. So not ten to, on the hour or quarter past. It has to be exactly five to for it to work proper (and it’s been scientifically proven to work by that cute Dr Christian off Embarrassing Bodies!). And the good news is it can be Five to any hour. Even in the middle of the night after you’ve had some how’s your father! And unlike the aggro you get with other diets with mine you can ruddy well eat as much as like, and as often as you want. As long as it’s only at five to… “Where do we find out about the bleedin’ 5-2 diet Dame Babs? I hear you lard arses ask?” Well, for 6 weeks in July I will be hosting my classes in the scout hut and sharing my secret… The course costs £55 a class and starts at 6.55 on 6th July… But don’t turn up if you ain’t got the cash, or else i’ll shout “GET OUT OF MY HUT!” Ta ta Till next week, Dame Babs