Happy New Year to one and all, especially local business owners. As leader of the town’s trade i’m hoping for big things in Beckworth this year. Plans which will, at long last, put the town on the map as it strides to gain city status and become the beating heart of UK industry and commerce. In 2016 I hope we will hear we have won the right to extend the airport so we can compete with Gatwick, Heathrow and Luton. If we’re lucky the HS2 rail link may still detour through the east of the town, thankfully demolishing a huge swathe of the unsightly council estate and flattening the frankly useless ancient forest. As usual we will be encouraging big business to Beckworth, both on the high street and to build coal-burning factories on the green belt. A bypass through the town is also at planning stage (just a few more favours to call in), as is an “out of town” shopping centre uniquely sited next to the existing high street (which would be redeveloped into an exclusive inland harbour development for the well-heeled). A multistory carpark would cater for shoppers and the noveau rich residents, likely to be sited on the current sports field and childrens playground. We’re in negotiations with a cheese baron to sight Europe’s first “milk derived foodstuff” theme park and second’s shop in the town, so all in all 2016 is looking bright for business. Yours sincerely, Valerie Saddleworth CBE. Chairlady. The Beckworth Guild of Trade & Commerce

(Above) An artist’s impression of the proposed Beckworth Airport expansion