Breaking medical news… Our local hospital, Beckworth General, is throwing open the doors to it’s operating theatres today in celebration of the invention of anesthetics a few hundred years ago on this very day. Anaemia, invented by some doctor or nurse somewhere, made it possible for patients to have operations without pain. And the sleeping gas they use is great at parties as it makes your voice sound really funny. Today at the hospital members of the public will have tons of the gas to play with and have the run of normally out of bounds areas. They’ll even be able to put on gowns and stuff and put volunteers “under.” Or be put to sleep themselves. No medical training is needed, but sadly smoking is prohibited. Euthanasia day sounds like great fun, so i’ll probably pop along myself to get a few hours induced sleep. Just as long as no one accidentally operates on me!!! Christine Batley. Chief Anaglypta Day Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian

(Above) Some real doctors and nurses have a go at euthanasia in preparation of today’s opening of their operating theatres