Breaking House of Lords news just in… The Conservative Government has just announced on facebook that a vast number of the Tory failthful, who helped them get a second term in office, are to be “thanked” in today’s vast honours list. Of the 376 new peerages 375 have quite rightly been given to aspirational and very generous male conservative donors. And four live in Beckworth. It’s certainly a great day for the town, and the country, and of course shows that capitalism and well placed investments in politics work wonders. I’ll keep you posted if i get more Lordly news… Christine Batley. Chief Honours For Sale Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian

(Above) Some lost Lords looking for the loos in the House Of Lords earlier today