Breaking Queen Elizabeth II news just in… To celebrate the Queen’s 90th birthday the council (with Government backing) have announced that the opening hours of our local public toilets will be extended by two hours on June 10th and 11th. Our beloved Queen has allegedly said “one is honoured that the WC’s will open earlier and stay open later” before probably adding “that giving her subjects the chance to spend longer “on the throne” is a fitting tribute to one.” Hurrah for HM. I for one will be popping down to spend a penny or two. If they clean them first that is… And get in some nice soft-toilet paper. Christine Batley. Chief “Latrine” Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian
(Above) Beckworth’s public toilet opening for more pleasurable hours in June