Hello all, this morning I can for once share happy uplifting news with you. Local resident, and keen collector of hammers, Gilbert Barnstable has today given his wife a unique Valentine’s gift. A tank made out of flowers. “The missus was pleasantly surprised when she drew back the curtains today” Mr Barnstable is quoted as saying “Normally she just finds foxes crap on the lawn but this morning she found a scale model of a Sherman tank made entirely of plastic flowers… It almost brought a tear to her eyes, but she said it was just dust!” Mr Gilbert explained it took him 6 months to make in his shed and he got the idea when watching a documentary about the anniversary of World War One “Me and the missus are big fans of warfare and love weapons, especially tracked vehicles like tanks. So i thought i’d combine celebrating the start of the Great War with giving flowers to her indoors on valentines day” What a thoughtful husband Mr Barnstable is. By the way, the beautiful tank can currently be seen outside the Barnstables’ house but hurry as the police are threatening to have it removed for inciting racial hatred amongst their neighbours. I’ll let you know if I have more news on this wonderful story… Christine Batley. Chief Flowers On Valentine’s Day Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian

(Above) The flower tank described as racially dangerous by the police