Hello. Just to let you know that this Friday our local psychiatrists, Kyle, Winfrey & Partners, will be throwing open their doors as part of the Government’s national Hey Scrounger, Get A Job programme. It was meant to be an open day at the chiropodists but a clerical mix-up (we couldn’t spell shiropadists and so contacted the wrong firm) means it will instead be a day spent with shrinks not feet doctors armed with pumice stones. But on a brighter note you will be able to sit on private (usually one to one) therapy sessions, administer advice and anti-depressants and generally get to know what it’s like to deal with mental health issues. Kyle, Winfrey & Partners assure me they are really good at getting to the root of peoples inner most problems, so it promises to be a really magical day. I for one will be there the whole day, taking notes as nutters fascinate me. The firm say they’ll be laying on rich tea biscuits for OAPs and Rorschach Tests for the under fives, so it’s a splendid day out for the whole family. See you there. Ruth Freshford. Manager. JobCentrePlus

More local employers are promising similar open days so keep watching this space.

(Above) A psychiatrist’s comfy couch in use earlier today