“Cinderella’s” Cement Found

Hello. The disquieting case of “Cinderella’s found ephemera” grew more puzzling today with the discovery of a mislaid part-used bag of quick drying cement near the builders merchants. The list of personal effects poor “Cinders” has lost in recent weeks is growing ever longer and we can only conclude that something very serious is going on, maybe a homicide or worse. The cement was found by local bike shop owner, and politician, Boris Johnson whilst on his way to the barbers at first light, and as a consequence the area around the bag has been cordoned off by forensics whilst they carry out tests and stuff. Questions will probably get asked in Parliament if we don’t get this solved double quick. So we need your input. Have you seen a young, or old, lady, or perhaps a dodgy builder in woman’s gear, lose a shoe, gloves, a fag packet and now a bag of cement of the quick-drying variety? Maybe you or someone in your family is getting forgetful and now can’t finish rendering brickwork due to a lack of footwear, fags and cement? Maybe you and your ugly sisters are over-running on a building job and as a consequence they have taken away your favourite cement and tabs as punishment? Maybe your wicked step-mother has taken your glass slippers to the cobblers for reheeling and dropped one on the way? If so ring 999 and ask for PC R Cowgrove at Beckworth Police station. I will be handling this nefarious case solo, along with CID, and will keep you in the loop as s*** happens. Yours, PC Cowgrove. Beckworth Police

Beckworth_Cement

(Above) “Cinderella’s” cement essential for rendering brick work

Share Button

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>