Hello. I’m very pleased to announce that due to a severed finger (see above) having been found in a frosty local verge I may at long last get transferred from my desk job. Yes, yours truly may get back to operational status and open, what we in the force like to call, “a cold case department” (any case that involves a bit of outdoorsy detective work during winter). I’m well up for the job and love finding body parts as I’m not squeamish. If anyone wants to email my bosses and suggest I get back on active detective duty please do. Yours, PC Cowgrove. Beckworth Police.