Good early afternoon to you all. I’m sure I speak for us all when I send my heartfelt congratulations to Sir Donald Trump, who has won a landslide victory to become the next (and probably most successful) President of The USA. And he did it in defiance of the biased Clinton owned US media who tried to paint him as a racist loon. But he humbly went out and won all of the US voters hearts, and all the World’s to, who saw he was a genuinely talented honest rich man. What a splendid year we are having, first Andy Murray wins Wimbledon, then we have Brexit and now we’ll have a real deal-maker and peace keeper in the White House. On a personal note I hope to meet  Sir Donny, as he likes his staff to call him, when he opens his first UK shop here in Beckworth. Planning-permission must surely now be given for him to build a branch of his successful equestrian equipment and hair-piece superstore, Stirrups & Syrups, in the grounds of Beckworth Castle. Congratulations to the USA for voting the right way. Valerie Saddleworth CBE. Chairlady. The Beckworth Guild of Trade & Commerce

PS I’ve heard on the grapevine that Mr Trump has informally promised to invite “hair styling expert” Prof Brian Cox to the Oval Office to give him hairstyle advice

(Above) A jubilant President Trump celebrates his win with a “new” hair style