A flugelhorn has just been handed in at the Police station. It was found, apparently abandoned, this lunch time in Right Said Fred Lane (near the vandalised phonebox) by one of Sainsco’s home delivery drivers (they are a Godsend those drivers. Perfect if both of you work and no-one is around to do the bloody food shopping).

Anyway, I’ll be honest (well I am a copper and honesty is in the job description), but I didn’t know what it was, an odd foreign trumpet thought I? But my cousin, who is big on such things, said it was a flugelhorn. So, if you are missing one, think it’s been pinched or know the owner, please ring 999 and ask for PC R Cowgrove at Beckworth Police station. Your call will be handled in the strictest confidence.

PC R Cowgrove