Tag Archives: Right Said Fred

Take The Next Left, or Right, Said Fred

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Hello World. Todays’ news is the hottest off the press for some time because its’ come straight from the horses mouth, almost. Richard Fairbrass of rock group Right Said Fred told his hairdresser, who phoned me, that he is the new voice of a well known make of satnav. Multi-millionaire Richard told Marge over a shampoo that ”it’s ironic Marge” he said “As I can’t drive, am rubbish with a map and get my lefts and rights all mixed up!” before adding “But hopefully drivers will forgive me if my instructions get them lost!” I think I speak for all Beckworth residents when I say I for one would let the deeply dippy bald Mr Fairground get me lost on the way home from Sainsco. LOL Ronnie. Psychic.
Beckworth_RightSaidFred
(Above) Right Said Fred who’s obviously no longer too sexy for his shirt

Filming In Beckworth

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Dear all, the more observant of you (no offence to the visually impaired) will probably have noticed large vans blocking the way on Right Said Fred Lane, with cables trailing dangerously along the pavement into Carnaby Cottage, home to star of stage and screen, Paul Weller. Why you ask? Because this week Beckworth is honoured to see the filming of a new TV action series called Cash In The Cupboard (a very low-budget spin-off, from the bafta-award winning series Cash In The Attic, being made for Dave TV). An insider from the series (one of the drivers) says that Paul is looking to raise about £525 for a family holiday in Benidorm by auctioning off tat from his sideboard. I for one can’t wait to see the programme, and wish Mr Weller good luck on trying to raise that cash.

Christine Batley. Chief TV & Film Reporter. Beckworth Guardian.

paulandpaul

(Above) Paul Weller on set with Cash In The Cupboard presenter Sir David Dickinson

Found: A Flugelhorn

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Flugelhorn

A flugelhorn has just been handed in at the Police station. It was found, apparently abandoned, this lunch time in Right Said Fred Lane (near the vandalised phonebox) by one of Sainsco’s home delivery drivers (they are a Godsend those drivers. Perfect if both of you work and no-one is around to do the bloody food shopping).

Anyway, I’ll be honest (well I am a copper and honesty is in the job description), but I didn’t know what it was, an odd foreign trumpet thought I? But my cousin, who is big on such things, said it was a flugelhorn. So, if you are missing one, think it’s been pinched or know the owner, please ring 999 and ask for PC R Cowgrove at Beckworth Police station. Your call will be handled in the strictest confidence.

PC R Cowgrove