Found: Best Man’s Tie

Hello. Following yesterday’s discovery of a discarded Bride-Groom’s tie, the big news in the police canteen this morning is that a Best Man’s tie has also been found. It was stumbled upon late last night by a vigilant member of the public who was looking for somewhere to relieve themself on the way back from the pub. Daylight showed it to be a tie very similar to the first but in this instance tied to a post box. The area is currently cordoned off whilst bomb-disposal experts carry out a controlled-explosion in case the whole pillar box is booby-trapped. The necktie is made of stylish shiny grey fibre and is the type worn by upper class best men such as Prince Harry and Eastender’s Ian Beale as well as dodgy estate agents and teenage sales-people in PC World. So does this essential piece of wedding-attire belong to you? Did you deliberately dispose of it whilst posting a letter of apology to the bride-to-be, cancelling her dream wedding due to a prank on the stag night going terribly wrong and the groom not surviving? Perhaps his body is hidden in the boot of ther wedding car or buried in a shallow grave under the marquee? And maybe you have skipped the country to go on the happy couple’s honeymoon believing quite rightly that there’s no point in wasting two weeks in Ibiza? If so CID would like to hear from you or anyone else on the stag weekend. Please ring 999 and ask for PC R Cowgrove at Beckworth Police station. I will be handling this dreadful murder case and hope to be in line for a large community reward when I find the decaying remains of the groom and return them to his grieving fiance. I’ll keep you posted on developments. Yours, PC Cowgrove. Beckworth Police

Beckwort_Best-Man's-Tie

(Above) The Best Man’s tie found late last night whilst a member of the public had a leak against the post box under the cover of darkness

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