Just to let you know that tonights much anticipated Two Directions gig has been cancelled after the band split-up live onstage during this afternoons matinee show for the under-5s. Voted “The Midland’s Best One Direction tribute band” by readers of The Daily Mail the group have cited musical differences and a lack of hair-gel as a reason for the split. Thankfully for fans the members vow to carry on as separate One Direction tribute acts once they are fully rehearsed, so watch this space. Tickets are still available for tonights cancelled concert and are an ideal present for collectors of unused One Direction ephemera.

Yours Terence Eccles. General Manager, The Macadamia Hall

(Above) Two Direction snapped backstage in happier times earlier today