Ex-One Direction Tribute Act Splits-Up Due To A Lack Of Cereal

Posted on 17/10/2016 by a resident of Beckworth

Just to let you know that tonight’s much anticipated Zayn Panic (Zayn Malik tribute) gig has been cancelled after the one-man band split-up over breakfast. Zayn Panic’s 53 year old vocalist and multi-instrumentalist Dave has cited musical differences and a lack of Frosties as a reason for the split. Once voted “Birmingham’s Thirteenth Best Zayn Malik tribute band” by readers of The Daily Mail Dave says he may reform as a Harry Styles tribute later in the week. Tickets are still available for tonight’s cancelled concert and are an ideal present for collectors of unused One Direction ephemera.

Yours Terence Eccles. General Manager, The Macadamia Hall

(Above) The Zayn Malik tribute act who sadly split up earlier today

Tribute Act Announce Split “To Keep It Real”

Posted on 24/08/2015 by a resident of Beckworth

Just to let you know that this Wednesday’s much anticipated Two Directions gig at the The Macadamia Hall (in aid of the scout’s Woggle Awareness Week) has just been cancelled. The tribute band, who spilt up and reformed twice last year, are sighting realism as the reason for this latest split. A spokesperson for the band (Barry “Harry” Style’s mum) has just issued a hand written statement outlining the reason; “Two Directions have always replicated what’s going on with One Direction as close as possible. When Zayn Malik left we immediately sacked his impersonater Dwayne and when it was announced that Louis Tomlinson was to become a Dad his tribute in 2D, Bluey, got a local girl up the duff. So it’s only right that “The Midland’s Second Best One Direction tribute band” take a break to concentrate on solo careers, such as shelf-stacking in Sainsco, just like their heroes in 1D.” Thankfully for music fans Dwayne Malik has offered to step in and do a “Tribute to Two Directions” tribute gig, which he’ll perform once he has rehearsed enough songs and dance moves. So watch this space. Tickets are still available for Wednesday’s cancelled concert and would make an ideal early Christmas present for collectors of rare One Direction cancelled-gigs ephemera and tat.

Yours Terence Eccles. General Manager, The Macadamia Hall

(Above) The happy members of Two Direction celebrate splitting up. Again.

Python’s Perished Parrot Purloined

Posted on 21/07/2014 by a resident of Beckworth

Just a reminder that tonight local boys, Monty Python, will be performing a final secret gig here at the Macadamia Hall and tickets are still available. Also, please be on the lookout for a large stuffed dead parrot which is key to some of their sketches (I believe it’s a mascot) as it has been stolen from the Python’s hired minibus. They are offering a £20 reward for it’s safe return which is very generous. The unsold tickets are only £725 each and can be purchased under the counter at the Macadamia Hall box office or from me personally (I’ll be in Sainsco doing my weekly shop this morning).

Yours Terence Eccles. General Manager, The Macadamia Hall

(Above) The missing dead pet parrot which Police are hunting

Shush! Python Announce Secret Gig

Posted on 13/07/2014 by a resident of Beckworth

Just to let you know that Monday 21st July local boys, Monty Python, will be performing a final secret gig here at the Macadamia Hall to round off their string of dates at London’s O2 theatre tent. Support act will be the funny Irish comedian Micky Flanagan. I’m not supposed to say anything about the “warm down” gig or even advertise it, but if I don’t how on earth will I sell any tickets? So please come and tell all your friends (though don’t mention I told you). Tickets are only £725 each and on sale now from under the counter at the Macadamia Hall box office or from me personally (you can catch me most nights in the saloon bar of The Blind Badger).

Yours Terence Eccles. General Manager, The Macadamia Hall

(Above) Monty Python take a bow at the end of one of their 49 farewell gigs at the O2

This Saturday We’re Hosting A Must See For All Hardcore Jedward Fans

Posted on 06/02/2014 by a resident of Beckworth

Just to let you know that Beckworth’s very own Jedward tribute band, Deadward, will be performing this Saturday night. The gig is a much anticipated warm up for their appearance later this month at The 3rd International Jedward Tribute Act Competition in Coventry. The members of Deadward, father and nephew Gary and Barry Chester, are taking time off from their day jobs at the crematorium to take their act to the competition. “The boys are very excited about representing Beckworth in the hotly contested ‘New Jedward Tribute Act’ catagory” said band manager Michael McIntyre over a few pints last night “and if they can stay sober long enough to get up on stage they may be in with a chance of getting a medal… or whatever it is you can win.” So come and give Deadward your support at their warm-up this weekend. Tickets are only £25 each and on sale now from the Macadamia Hall box office and the crematorium.

Yours Terence Eccles. General Manager, The Macadamia Hall

(Above) Gary and Barry Chester of the band Deadward photographed at work last week whilst “helping Police with their enquiries”

One Direction Tribute Band Split-Up Live On Stage

Posted on 18/10/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

Just to let you know that tonights much anticipated Two Directions gig has been cancelled after the band split-up live onstage during this afternoons matinee show for the under-5s. Voted “The Midland’s Best One Direction tribute band” by readers of The Daily Mail the group have cited musical differences and a lack of hair-gel as a reason for the split. Thankfully for fans the members vow to carry on as separate One Direction tribute acts once they are fully rehearsed, so watch this space. Tickets are still available for tonights cancelled concert and are an ideal present for collectors of unused One Direction ephemera.

Yours Terence Eccles. General Manager, The Macadamia Hall

(Above) Two Direction snapped backstage in happier times earlier today

Saturdays’ Sunday, Mondays’ Tuesday

Posted on 24/06/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

Just to let you know that due to ongoing works to stem a sewage flood in the ladies powder room this coming Saturday’s Saturdays gig at The Macadamia Hall will be postponed until Sunday 30th. Next Tuesday’s Happy Mondays gig should be uneffected. Tickets are still available for both sold-out concerts.

Yours Terence Eccles. General Manager, The Macadamia Hall

(Above) The Saturdays photographed during rehearsals last Friday

Unsplitting The Atom

Posted on 30/05/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

It is with great pleasure that I hereby announce that tickets for Atomic Kitten‘s first concert in 23 years will go on sale tomorrow morning from 10am. The reformed band promise to play both their hits and a host of other tracks you may have heard but thought were by someone else. The “unsplit” band will feature all the original members including Baby Kitten, Posh Kitten, Sporty Kitten, the one who’s name escapes me and Ginger Tom. The concert will be on Monday 1st July (after the bingo) and support acts will be local One Direction tribute duo Two Directions and a juggler called Dave. Tickets are priced £12, or £5 for those on incapacity benefit.

We are very excited to be hosting the concert as we will have repainted the bar by then.

Yours Terence Eccles. General Manager, The Macadamia Hall

John Cooper-Clarke; Flushed With Success

Posted on 05/05/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

What a cracking gig we hosted last night, John Cooper-Clarke was fantastic as was the support act but best of all, our newly cleared toilets went down a storm. Thanks to all who attended and used the facilities without over-burdening them. T. Eccles

(Above) John Cooper-Clarke thrilled after using the newly unblocked toilets

Cooper-Clarke Gig This Saturday: Skip To The Loo My Darling

Posted on 30/04/2013 by a resident of Beckworth

Just a reminder that this Saturday sees The Macadamia Hall host the postponed John Cooper-Clarke gig. Support comes from Beckworth’s very own Lady Gaga & Margaret Thatcher tribute act Iron Lady Gaga. It sounds like a not to be missed evening and of course our revamped toilets will be on display, and hopefully working (Hence my humorous Skip To The Loo quote above).

Yours Terence Eccles. General Manager, The Macadamia Hall

(Above) John Cooper-Clarke calms his nerves pre-gig

Life in Beckworth

Bringing you the (almost) everyday comings and goings of the residents of Beckworth, a typical English market town. Informing you about their lives through the mediums of words, images, an interactive map and stereophonic sound recordings

Category Archives: Terence Eccles

Ex-One Direction Tribute Act Splits-Up Due To A Lack Of Cereal

Tribute Act Announce Split “To Keep It Real”

Python’s Perished Parrot Purloined

Shush! Python Announce Secret Gig

This Saturday We’re Hosting A Must See For All Hardcore Jedward Fans

One Direction Tribute Band Split-Up Live On Stage

Saturdays’ Sunday, Mondays’ Tuesday

Unsplitting The Atom

John Cooper-Clarke; Flushed With Success

Cooper-Clarke Gig This Saturday: Skip To The Loo My Darling

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