Allegedly Socially Distanced Summer Solstice Celebrations At Dawn Tomorrow

Nudity news just in… Fans of sexual-depravity and going around naked have been allowed, by a court (where do they get these liberal lefty judges), to most likely bring shame to Beckworth… For on the morrow before the sun rises unemployed dirty scroungers, calling themselves Druids, witches and crusties, will be allowed (as they allegedly have for millenia) to congregate and fornicate at the ancient Hammerite standing stones. How they can do this and stay two metres apart God only knows! These Druid druggies always claim to be celebrating the summer solstice, which to decent clothes-wearing folk is actually called the Longest day. The left-wing scum will no-doubt be joined by crowds of baying doggers and photographers with long lenses to see the sun rise… I myself will be staying well clear, I’m not reporting on old bearded men and haggard women having sexual intercourse, and worse, in a stone circle that early in the morning… No wonder the Indian Delta variant of Covid is on the loose when such anarchistic events are allowed to happen by the courts of this land. I think all such hippy events should be banned, why not do the fornicating, chanting & dancing in the privacy of their own caravans, or whatever they call home. I bet the majority of those who’ll be there are on this stupid money-drain called furlough, they should be doing something more constructive with their day, like watching day time telly. I myself have a long standing way to celebrate the solstice, with a few bottles of cheap wine, 20 Marlboro Lights and copies of Hello and Tatler magazine. Christine Batley. Deputy Chief Pagan Nonsence Correspondent. Beckworth And Slocombe Herald Incorporating Nightly Gazette

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