Breaking news just in… Local tennis ace Corky Deptford has just lost to Gilles Muller (heir to the potted rice dynasty) in a nail biting singles match lasting almost 5 hours… The playing by both champs was amazing, but it was especially good for an allegedly blind player. Andy Murray who was watching and taking notes from his mentor said “The guvnor, Mr Deptford, was really on fire today” before adding “In fact at one point, whilst lighting a fag his bandana caught alight, but it was quickly extinguished by an umpire wielding a bottle of sparkling mineral water… And Corky was hardly even put off his serve. What a pro” I caught Mr deptford post-match on his way speedily to the loo and he told me “he almost had the foreign lad on the ropes but had really bad wind which affected his game…” he went onto explain that “yesterday he spent the day boozing, smoking and ended up having a midnight curry” bad luck Corky, But you did us proud. Christine Batley. Chief Ball Sports Reporter. Beckworth And Slocombe Herald Incorporating Nightly Gazette