Breaking late afternoon news from early this morning in Rio (apologies I slept through the live coverage after a boozy night out and am only just catching up now)… Local not a gold-medalist skipper Bethany Folkestone had a stroke of luck in the semi-finals when the Russian competitor was disqualified due to a “roping scandal.” It was found she was using non-standard length skipping ropes and had extra-bouncy odour-eater soles in her trainers. So plucky 8-year old Bethany scraped through to the finals where, despite a valiant effort, she came last with just two points out of a possible 120. Gold contentiously went to North Korea, Silver to South Sudan and Bronze to Tuvalu (which i’d never heard of and sounds like the name of a ballroom). But as a famous loser once said it’s not the winning, it’s the taking part. But like we believe that! Commiserations to Bethany, let’s hope she does a lot better in 2020. Christine Batley, Deputy Chief Not Bothering To Stay Up Late Watching The Olympics Correspondent. Beckworth And Slocombe Herald Incorporating Nightly Gazette

(Above) The Russian team’s non-standard length skipping rope