Scientists Prove That Covid Only Contagious Between 10pm and 10am

Breaking scientific health news just in… A slightly tipsy but trust-worthy Government source has revealed to me whilst staggering back from the Blind Badger that Covid 19 is only spreading for 12 hours a day. He went on to reveal that a scientist advisor says it’s only contagious between 10 at night and 10 in the morning, hence why pubs have been told to shut at 10pm before the infection wakes up and spreads during the night. He also said that betting offices, off-licences and strip clubs are completely Covid free which is why he’s spending so much time in them, just to keep himself and his family safe. It’s great to hear some common sense amongst all the fake news being spread by the tabloids and thank God we’ve got such a great Government in charge keeping us all safe and well. Christine Batley. Deputy Chief Still Covid Free Correspondent. Beckworth And Slocombe Herald Incorporating Nightly Gazette

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