Breaking Sporran & Kilt News Just In… Local singing duo The Proclaimers have been apprehended by Police on the hard-shoulder of the M1 for attempting to walk 500 miles (and probably 500 more) to visit their family in Leith in Scotland, stopping off at “closed” ale houses on route. The identical twins, Reg and Rory McReid tried to claim it was a sponsored walk and therefore essential, but the boys (and girls) in blue were having none of it and fined the singers £65 each. Luckily they had enough cash in their sporrans to pay up. The twins are now hitching a lift home… Remember: PLEASE STAY HOME. Christine Batley. Deputy Chief Tartan Correspondent. Beckworth And Slocombe Herald Incorporating Nightly Gazette

(Above) Identical twin pop stars, Reg and Rory McReid