Shocking political news just in…. Disgraced local ex-MP Nora Berlin is calling for a head-to-toe reform of the loathsome new years honours list. Ms Berlin a long time Tory member and ousted cabinet minister arrived home this morning from a Christmas skiing trip to find her name has been left off this year’s list. Despite being a long-time donor to the party and having “information” on many senior politicians across the house she wasn’t made a Dame as she’d openly predicted. Ms Nora, owner of a string of sex shops and tanning salons, says she will demand a recount and a personal apology from the PM himself unless she gets an OBE at the very least. I’ll keep you posted on this story as it unfolds… On a lighter note David Cameron‘s wife Sam was made a Duchess, his sister Nancy (a writer for the Mail) a CBE, and Mr Cameron’s dear old mum a Baroness. His cousin Cyril who’s already got an OBE was promoted and made a Duke, for his pioneering “environmental” work developing HS2 and Crossrail. So the honours list isn’t entirely corrupt as commonly assumed. Happy New Year, Christine Batley. Chief “Keep It In The Family Honours” Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian

(Above) A clearly delighted David Cameron congratulates his clearly delighted wife Samantha on her becoming a Duchess earlier today