Spring Started Today, Probably… Or Maybe It’s Tomorrow

Spring Solstice news just in… Today, or tomorrow if you go by some sources, is officially the start of Spring (so we can at last look forward to long warm evenings drinking Pimms whilst reading great literature such as 50 Shades Of Grey in a hammock)… But before then I’ve local goings on to report… despite there being a frost this morning (so much for the arrival of warm weather!) a few of our local druids, warlocks, witches and drunks put on an admirable display of nudity and fornication at sunrise this morning… As is traditional on the solstice they congregate at the ancient Hammerite standing stones and do their “thing”, whatever that may be. You won’t catch me going there in the dark with a torch to see vulgar hippy folk singing to get the sun to rise… I can guess what they get up to and I’m certainly no fan of dogging (not since I accidentally fell asleep one evening in a local carpark after puppy-training). And I’m told they’ll be doing it all over again in June, so if you really want to torture yourself as “its culturally important” you can watch old bearded blokes and women displaying their (not so) private parts whilst stumbling around the stones mumbling in the summer. I’m only reporting it as its a quiet day in the world of news, apart from bloody Brexit, so i’m glad a bunch of misfits and vagrants celebrated spring and saved me from redundancy. Christine Batley. Deputy Chief Pagan Worship Correspondent. Beckworth And Slocombe Herald Incorporating Nightly Gazette

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