Breaking potentially sad news…. Reports have been flooding in that local man Duncan Bubbles, the probable inventor of Bubble-Wrap, is very ill and has taken to his “death” bed. But in a spooky twist we’ve just had a fax from his talented nephew, Michael Buble (Real name: Mickey Bubbles), saying reports of his death are a bit premature. “He does have a poorly foot and is a bit stressed by the ongoing Human Rights court case over who actually invented Bubble-Wrap (two Americans claim they did in the 1960s), but apart from that he’s fine” Get well soon Mr Bubbles. Christine Batley. Chief Packaging Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian

(Above) As per his final wishes Mr Bubbles will be buried in a splendid “coffin” of his own making