Hello all. Late last night the World famous Iceland foods themed Iceland Land Theme Park in Slocombe was once again struck by lightning, amazingly for the third time in a year. Most surprising is that during the night no one noticed there was even any rain let alone an electrical storm. The lightning caused fires which destroyed three very popular rides, which coincidentally had recently been closed down as unsafe by health and safety officials and were due for replacement. The owners were in the process of trying to raise the money for new frozen food themed rides at the time of the lightning strike. Luckily, thanks to insurance, finding the money will no longer be an issue. On hearing of the fire a spokesperson for onetime Iceland figurehead Kerry Katona said “Ms Katona is currently on holiday in Magaluf so it wasn’t her that set fire to the rides or nothing.” The theme park manager Ralf Little is keen to stress that 32% of the park is still open for business and that the cafe is now doing breakfasts as well as lunch. So it’s still an ideal destination for all the family this summer. Christine Batley. Chief Lightning Strike Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian

(Above) An artist’s impression of lightning striking the amusement park last night