Dear all. Just a quick update on The Great British Bake Off for those following my cousin Jack-A-GooGoo, the gifted singer and entertainer. The observant amongst you will probably notice his absence from tonight’s episode. This was due to Jack helping the police with their enquiries when tonight’s programme was filmed. But the show’s very understanding producers have allowed Jack to stay in the competition. It’s fortunate that amateur photographer Jack had some very “interesting” photos of people associated with the programme and he used these as his “get out of jail free” card. Mary Berry and her son Paul Lollywood have said they are chuffed to bits that non-talented Jack is still in the running to win Bake Off this year.

Thanks Nelly Ryde (Jack’s manager, baking inspiration and shelf-stacker in 99p Land)

(Above) Mary puts on a brave face but her son Paul is really missing contestant Jack this week