Hello all. I’ve just seen the ex-Bishop Of Rome (Pope John Paul George Ringo II) in the betting shop losing a tenner on the gee-gees. Being of the Agnostic persuasion I felt no guilt at kicking the poor bugger whilst he was down (not literally but… ), and ponced his last two cigarettes off him. I will smoke them and say a few hail Marys whilst I await the results of the 2.15 at Chepstow. God Bless the ex-leader of The Catholic Church, Colonel T. Ludlow (Ret’d)

PS I still can’t find my blasted balaclava, so if anyone has a spare hat i’d like it!

(Above) A visibly upset ex-Pope photographed leaving a turf accountants earlier today