I’ve just seen the Pope’s pal, rockstar Bono, buying travel sweets and fags in the newsagents. He looked very different without his sunglasses on, a lot fatter and more ginger. Also, he didn’t sound Irish at all, in fact he had more of a Geordie accent. It’s funny what these pop people will do to avoid being recognised. Then, when I came out of the shop I spotted his friend Edge busking by the bottle bank down the road, so I’m guessing they were off on tour. Gilbert Barnstaple.

(Above) Bono photographed going to meet his friend Edge earlier today