I’ve just seen the stars of television’s X-Factor, Ant & Dec, working as mystery shoppers. They went into 99p Land and then to the grocers and butchers, and “bought” a lot of cheap stuff, mostly from the out of date shelves. Thank you, Alan
(Above) Mystery shoppers Ant & Dec push home their haul of
past-the-sell-by-date goodies
I’ve just served long-haired OAP Neil Young in my store. He was very shy, not like you’d imagine a rocker to be, and bought some veggie sausages, half a dozen alcopops and a disposable barbecue. He said he was going to celebrate Canada Day. To be honest i’d never heard of him or his special day, but my nephew showed me a picture of Mr Young on his posh phone, which the man said was indeed him. He kindly autographed a dented tin of peas I was pricing at the time which are now on display in the shop window (though i’ll probably sell them on ebay). Thanks Neil. Bim. Manager. 99p Land
(Above) Neil Young’s tin of peas
Hello. I’ve just seen Royal friend of the earth Prince Charles cycling to the shops surrounded by his body guards. Mr Charles really is a man of the people as every few yards he stopped to chat to his subjects and sign autographs. Also, his ears are a lot smaller in real life, as you can see in the photo I took. Leslie Warwick
(Above) Nature lover Prince Charles spotted in town today
I’ve just spotted French president François Hollande asking for directions to the G8 summit. He’s a bit lost as it’s happening in Northern Ireland but I heard him telling someone he’d got on the wrong ferry after a boozy night out in Calais.
(Above) Francois Hollande lost in Beckworth this lunch time
I’ve just seen actor Daniel Radcliffe in the dry-cleaners dropping off an old sheepskin coat for stain-removal. It’s amazing how much he really does look like Harry Potter, right down to the lightning scar on his face.
Chico C. Whitby
I’ve just seen the X-Factor’s Sharon Osborne shopping in the town with her two sons, Ozzy and Jack. She was obvoiusly celebrating her return to the talent show as she was splashing the cash on her boys, buying them new kilts and bowties. But I did overhear one of the boys complain that he couldn’t find a nice floral shirt to buy. She is obviously a big hearted and generous lady. It’s easy to see why Prime Minister George Osborne married her and let the TV people film all day in their house. Ronnie
(Above) Sharon and her two sons photographed today shopping for shirts
I’ve just seen the Pope’s pal, rockstar Bono, buying travel sweets and fags in the newsagents. He looked very different without his sunglasses on, a lot fatter and more ginger. Also, he didn’t sound Irish at all, in fact he had more of a Geordie accent. It’s funny what these pop people will do to avoid being recognised. Then, when I came out of the shop I spotted his friend Edge busking by the bottle bank down the road, so I’m guessing they were off on tour. Gilbert Barnstaple.
(Above) Bono photographed going to meet his friend Edge earlier today
Hellody Hoo, Marion here. I’ve just seen tanned TV singing sensation (and son of Katie Price) Peter Andre trying on sandals in Sainsco supermarket. He has very big feet and after trying many pairs he realised they didn’t have his size. I suggested he try wearing plimsoles. Ta ta, Marion
Goodness, this is my second star spot this week, i must be psychic (But of course I am!!!!). Late last night I saw TV’s gay icon, Eurovision hopeful, and local celeb, Graham Norton, rushing out of Tesburys supermarket. I couldn’t see what he’d bought as he was carrying a bag, but it’s bound to be crisps, vodka and Fanta to keep him going before he sings on tonight’s Eurovision Song Contest. Good luck Graham, we’re all rooting for you (Has anyone actually heard this years entry? I hear it’s been banned from the radio!). Ronnie
I’ve just seen You’ve Been Framed funny man, and local shirt-wearing celeb, Harry Hill filming funny clips on his mobile. Whilst autographing my sandwich box (I had nothing else on me) he told me that when the show is short of funny animal films and clips of children falling over, he goes out and films some himself. At £150 per clip (if shown on the programme) he’s quids in. He tried to get me to walk into a lamppost, but I had to rush home for an “appointment.” But I think he’s still on Floyd Street if you want to do something funny for money. Ronnie