Later This Week Why Not Not Pop A Squirrel In Your Pocket

Hello. Just a reminder that Wednesday to Friday this week it’s National Take A Rodent To Work For Part Of The Week week. This is a golden opportunity to introduce all our small furry friends to the world of gainful employment, whether full- or part-time, and get them off benefits. And, if you yourself are one of our beloved country’s many many workshy, the unemployed can take their mammals to sign-on or to accompany them to the off-licence to get drunk and abusive outside the station. And let’s not forget our aged end-of-life retired citizens who can take mice, gerbils, rats, beavers etc along to a social club or to buy cigarettes whilst complaining about b****y foreigners to the tolerant Asian shop-keeper. This half-week is also a good opportunity to shine a light on to some incredibly stupid rules, for instance: did you know rodents are currently banned from hospitals, dentists, public toilets and doctors surgeries. Crazy isn’t it? But let’s face it rodents are so small you should try sneaking yours in.

In previous years I’ve had many letters and unstamped postcards saying “But I haven’t got a small burrowing-animal to offer work-experience to.” Fear not, you can now “test-drive” one as local pet shops and online retailers are hiring them out. I’m told rental is for a minimum of five days, prices vary depending on the size of rodent, but a deposit of £350 per animal is required first. Sounds like a bargain.
And the icing on the “mammal-shaped cake” is that some local employers are offering internships to these creatures, such as working for blocked-drain companies or delivering groceries in little carts. So get your skates on and have a great end of week at work with man’s tiny best friends. Ruth Freshford. Manager. JobCentrePlus
Beckworth_Squirrel In Your Pocket
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