Breaking newspaper news just in… Media moguls have just announced in our office, via an email, that the centuries old Beckworth Guardian has been sold to neighbouring rival newspaper The Slocombe Herald. Last week the Herald bought it’s other main rival, The Nightly Gazette evening paper, so now has a monopoly in the Beckworth region. In a misspelt statement leaked to some staff the new “foreign investor” owners claimed the buyout represented a bright future for us all, but probably less bright for the many staff who will be persuaded to take voluntary redundancy or be sacked on the spot. My boss has announced her “very early retirement” (she’s only 34) and we’re told that as of now the paper’s will be merged into one snapilly named title, Beckworth And Slocombe Herald Incorporating Nightly Gazette (B.A.S.H.I.N.G.) with the first issue hitting the streets lunchtime tomorrow. The timing is to cleverly pick up readers of both the replaced morning and evening papers. The new title is still going to be chock full of the latest local news and still hate anything European, left-wing, liberal or green. For the time being I have been demoted and will have to reapply for my job, but I am confident the respected new editor (coming from a national newspaper) will value my talent. So it’s RIP Beckworth Guardian and bon voyage Beckworth And Slocombe Herald Incorporating Nightly Gazette. Christine Batley. Deputy Chief Is My Job Safe Correspondent. Beckworth And Slocombe Herald Incorporating Nightly Gazette