Hello. Just to let you know that next Tuesday Beckworth’s world famous “gesture acting” establishment, The Milli Vanilli School Of Mime & Shadow Puppetry, will be quietly throwing open it’s doors to the public. It’s part of the Government’s ongoing, but so far unsuccessful, national Hey Scrounger, Get A Job initiative. The scheme offers bone-idle job-seekers a one day hands-on experience of work, and due to expected low turn-out they can even bring their friends and families. The only rule whilst attending the £52,000 a term school is that there is no speaking or sounds allowed, communication is through mime or shadow hand-signals only. Co-owner of the famous school, Mr Albert Milli, has said he will show anyone who can be arsed to turn up the rudiments of his patented high-brow “Milli mime” whilst his partner Mr Reg Vanilli will be teaching basic shadow puppetry and running the school’s canteen. It’s bound a thrilling day out for all the family and there will food available all day to buy and consume silently, plus for the under-fives a ball-pool in the stair well. It really will be a wonderful day, so see you there.

More local employers are promising similar open days so keep watching this space. Ruth Freshford. Manager. JobCentrePlus

(Above) A clearly excited Mr Milli and Mr Vanilli at their “acting” school earlier today